When you met the person you wanted to marry, you likely had dreams and goals of how your future life would unfold. Perhaps those goals included having and raising a family together. Maybe you both have entrepreneurial spirits and dreamed of becoming business partners. No two couples are exactly the same; therefore, each marriage is unique. What is common to most couples, however, is the fact that most encounter relationship challenges at some point.
If you're among those in Illinois who determined that certain issues made your relationship unsustainable, you might also be among those who have filed or are preparing to file for divorce. When your dreams and goals in life change, it can be quite stressful. By building a strong support network, however, and taking one step at a time, you can lay the groundwork for a successful, new lifestyle.
Allow yourself time to process emotions
There's no right or wrong way to feel when you decide to divorce. In fact, you might experience numerous emotions in a single day. One minute, you might feel frustrated or angry, and the next, you might feel overwhelmed by sorrow or loneliness.
A positive step to take in moving on after divorce is to allow your emotions to unfold naturally. In accepting the situation "as is," you can come to terms with what is and begin building a new path for yourself.
Avoid negativity toward your ex
Especially if you're co-parents, you and your ex will continue to interact in your post-divorce lifestyle. It can definitely be challenging to leave the past behind, particularly if something happened in your marriage to cause a lot of hurt, such as an extramarital affair. However, agreeing to be respectful of each other at all times helps keep post-divorce stress at bay.
Set goals for the future
Just because things didn't work out as you'd hoped in your marriage doesn't mean you shouldn't envision a future or build new dreams with your children as you move on together in life. In fact, you might even consider having a family brainstorming session where you and the kids share your needs, ideas and goals for the future.
What to do and not do if problems arise
In a perfect world, you and your ex would always get along and would simply go your separate ways and enjoy being co-parents from afar. In reality, any number of issues or disagreement may surface that spark stress in your post-divorce lifestyle. Parental conflict almost always has a negative effect on children.
That's why it's best to avoid confrontation at all costs. Many Illinois parents stay closely connected to experienced family law attorneys because they can step up in a pinch to help find fair solutions to even the most complicated co-parent or other divorce-related problems.