Some people, particularly those with firm preconceptions about divorce, may believe that divorce has to be an aggressive, argumentative situation. They might believe that it’s normal to try to bring your spouse down instead of resolving the case in as much of a “win-win” scenario as possible.

Much of this myth of aggressive divorces comes from the media. After all, it’s much more exciting to watch people fight than to work out their problems in a calm manner. However, in many cases, that’s exactly what happens. People get together, talk through their conflicts, and come up with a resolution that works for both parties.

Mediation is beneficial to most people who are willing to work together to resolve conflicts, even if they still disagree on many things. Both you and your spouse have to be willing to work together and to try to set aside your differences for the betterment of your case. If you cannot agree to try to avoid fighting in mediation sessions or have no intention of actually trying to find a resolution, then mediation won’t be a good choice.

Those who agree to move forward with mediation may find that it’s the perfect solution. With mediation, there’s no risk of having someone else decide on the outcome of your case since you and your spouse are encouraged to come to an agreement on your own, with consultation with your attorneys. Your mediator is there to help you understand how decisions can affect you and to keep the conversation moving, but there’s no risk of them trying to force their own decisions onto you.